Stripped of all Dignity
Nov 19/2002-- They say there are a million stories in the naked city.

Make that a million and one.
With five minutes to go in last-night's snoozer at the Keystone Centre, some joker with alot of beer and no clothes on tried adding a little spice to the evening.

Streaking down section 12 wearing nothing but a pair of cranberry red socks, this dude climbed over five feet of glass next to the penalty box and onto the ice during a stoppage in play.

Perhaps planning on taking some sort of shameless victory lap like a British tourist did here five years ago, this polite drunk wound up the butt of many a joke in perhaps the most embarrassing move at a rink since Steve Smith bounced one in off Grant Fuhr.

Somehow unable to use his sorry tube socks to land his nine-foot dismount cleanly, Shawn Bolack wound up landing on his head, resting flat on his back, motionless.

It looked serious. No one knew what to make of it. No one knew what to say.

As a strange silence blanketed the Keystone Centre, Wheat Kings' goal judge Earl Cheasley had the unpleasant task of rushing to the aid of his fallen comrade. His first move was to place a towel over Bolack's bits. A small towel, it should be noted.

A spine board was also immediately rushed onto the ice with a horde of support staff, including a pair of police officers who were roundly booed for some inexplicable reason.

After close to five minutes of medical attention, Shawn was hoisted onto a gurney complete with plenty of straps and a head support. Oh, and of course the towel. Thank god for the towel. Then came the ultimate indignity: The fist pump.

Not only had Shawn just made a bigger ass of himself than Tonya Harding ever could, he still had the presence of mind to remind the crowd he was indeed a buffoon.

A drunk naked, sweaty buffoon with red socks.

I mean, who wears red socks?

Besides, any red-blooded Canadian knows socks are a no-no if you're going streaking.

Luber Joins the Cast of Drew Carey
August 18-2002--Social Misfit's catcher and team manager Bruce 'Goobers' Luebke can now been seen playing the role of Lewis on the popular television series, The Drew Carey Show. Bruce has been contracted out to fill the role played by the popular Ryan Stiles, as Ryan is over in Europe shooting a movie.

"We were quite concerned when we found out that Ryan was going to be leaving us for a few weeks" said Drew. "Then when our talent agent came to us with the idea of using this unknown Canadian hunk to fill his role, we immediately jumped at the opportunity" added Drew.

While this shy Prairie boy was at first nervous about joining the cast, he has settled in nicely and few have noticed that Ryan is even gone. "He is such a dead ringer for Ryan that many of the staff often confuse him for Ryan" said Christa Miller, who plays the role of Kate on the show. "Even his mannerisms are so similar to Ryan that sometimes I end up just calling him Ryan" added Drew.

Rolo Agrees to Terms
August 14, 2002-The Social Misfit's are pleased to announce that they have come to terms with one of the original Misfit's, Keith 'Rolo' Richardson, for this weekend's tournament. "It was a long, tough negotiation to get him signed" said Bruce Luebke, manager of the Misfit's. "This acquisition is very similar to the deal that Arizona made last year, just before they won the World Series, when they traded for Curt Schilling." added Bruce.

"He was very reluctant to sign the weekend deal, as he had major plans of heading off to Grand Beach in an effort to show off his new Speedo" noted Bruce. "However, he was very quick to sign on the dotted line once we informed him that beer in the cooler was only $2" added Bruce.

Fans can expect to see Keith (pictured above) spend a lot of time on the mound, as he is fresh off a 6-game pitching performance on the weekend in Winnipeg. If all else holds true, he should be good for a few quality quotes as well. "Who knows we may be even lucky enough to see him turn an ankle or something" joked Earl.

Keith was excited and quite emotional when reached on his cell phone this afternoon when asked to comment on the signing. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Keith was heard to say, in a rather teary eyed voice, "I only want to hang out with you guys".

Snickers Bobble Head Released
June 9/2002-In an effort to attract more fans to the ballpark, the Social Misfits today announced that they will be passing out FREE 'Snickers' Bobble Heads to the first 200 fans at the next home game.

"We didn't think that we would have to reach into our promotional bag of tricks so quickly to attract fans" said Misfits promotions manager Trevor 'Wunderbar' Klassen. "The people are just not coming to the ballpark as we had expected, so we have decided to hit the public hard with our promotional machine."

The Snickers bobble head has already been met with alot of positive feed back and anticipation. Within minutes of the press release, collectors from all around the globe have been contacting the office inquiring about the availability of these bobble heads. Early indications suggest that the bobble heads may be auctioned off on EBay for upwards of $800 each.

Sellar's Featured on Cover
August 16/2002--AL 'Aero' Sellars photo was selected from a series of more then 1,000 entries to appear on this year's swimsuit edition cover. "We liked the fact that Al is better tanned better then a turkey on Thanksgiving day" said editor Carla Richardson. "Al really got into shape this summer with all his jogging, and the perfect payoff for him is landing this much coveted cover" added Jackie.

"What we liked most about the photo was how Al carefully selected a swimsuit that matched his hair color" replied Cam.

Most of the Al's photo shoot was done at the beautiful Kenton damn. "It was quite a cold and windy day, as I recall" said Al. "My nipples were hard for most of the day, and from I hear they had to be touched up some in editing" added Al.

The magazine is due to hit news stands around Brandon and area on September the first. The Misfit's will be hosting an invite only release party at Barnacle's, where Al will be signing the cover. Al has also decided to auction off the swimsuit worn in the cover photo on E-Bay and all proceeds will goto the charity of his choice.

Earl Pays Up
July 22/2002--Upon the start of this 2002 baseball season, Earl boldly predicted there would never be a night where he would not reach base in a game. So confident was he, that Earl publically stated that he would wear a dress if it should ever happen. Well a few weeks back, the umimaginable happened, and Earl went 0-5 at the plate.

True to his word, Earl put on his best dress, wig, and makeup and came to ball bark dressed as Mimi from the Drew Carey show. While his team mates knew of his obsession for wearing wigs, a few were caught off with just how good he appeared in a dress.

"I have seen some sweet looking cross dressers in my day, but Earl has to rank amongst the best" stated Craig. "He should be commended for the way in which he filled out that beautiful dress" added Stacey.

Where's Al?
J uly 03/2002- Once again Misfit's fielder Al "Aero" Sellars was a no-show at the diamond. Team officials are quite concerned with Al's erratic behavior of late, as he has only attended 2 of the teams first 6 games. So concernered are his friends, they have placed his photo on milk cartons, and are looking for the public's assistance in locating Al.

Al was spotted winning $1,000 at the Old Farts draw last Friday. Upon collecting his winnings, Al then was last seen chatting up some cougar over by the shooter bar as he waitied for his Blue Blazer to arrive.

Vital Facts:
Height: 5'9"-5'10"
Weight: 160 lbs
Favorite Movie: The Little Mermaid
Favorite Music: any, and all boy bands
Favorite Saying: "Hey.................."
Hair Color: Depends on the day you catch him
Favorite Hangouts: Tanning Salon's, Houstons, Adult Shops

Although Al is not considered dangerous, he has been known to talk your ear off if given the chance.

"If anyone should happen to see Al could they please tell him that we play ball on Tuesday nights" said Jackie Bolack. "If he is still uncertain of how to find his own way to the ball park, I am sure that we could arrange to have someone drive him out" added Jackie.

Batting for Dummies
June 05/2002-- Let Lindsay take you out to the ballpark in her first edition of her classic guide to the National Pastime. From how to hit a fastball, or how hit the
inside pitch, to preparing yourself the day before a game , she covers all the bases - and shows you how to get the most out of the game.

Lindsay 'Skor" Loree has officially released her first ever instructional
book 'Batting for Dummies'. "I thought that it was a book that the rest of the players on my team could use" said Lindsay at her book signing at the 7-11 on 34th. Coming off a most impressive 4-4 performance in her team's last outing, Lindsay, decided that she best pass on her knowledge to everyone else. "I got tired of carrying this team at the plate, it was painfull to watch everyone struggling so bad" Lindsay added. While most of the team has sucked at the plate, Lindsay has flourished, swatting balls all over the outfield. Her consistency and tenacity is what has impressed most. "She just stands in there and takes her cuts" said Cam. See what others have had to say about the book.

"Lindsay Loree... is one of the most intelligent players to ever play the game." Bruce Luebke, manager, Social Misfits

"This book has something for everybody, from... longtime fans to Little Leaguers." Sports Illustrated for Lindsay 'Skor" Loree and Baseball For
Dummies®.

"This book is a grand slam." -Playboy

"We all knew that Lindsay was a swinger, we just never knew how good she was
with the bat". 'Aero'

"Hopefully, Al takes the time to read the book several times". Jr. Mints

The book is now currently available in most book stores across the country. Watch for the VHS/DVD video release to follow shortly.